‘The Flowers of Fantastico’ Episode 6 Review: “I am Bisexual”

It looks like “lesbionic muff-muncher”, Bette Jensen, has Tara under her spell. After spending the night with Bette, Tara can barely stop day dreaming long enough to tantalize/gross out Gary and Billi with her tales of sexual Nirvana. Somewhere in-between claw marks and tongue skills, Tara announces her cool, new Bisexual label to the world. Well, at least a couple of catty gay guys who think lesbian sex is akin to water dripping on bamboo. More like water dripping on sleeveless flannel shirts and Pitbulls, am I right? My lesbian friends probably laughed at that line, it’s cool if you didn’t.

Bette shows up just long enough to ruin Sister Contentious’ fudgepop with a steamy girl on girl kiss. I’m dying to see where Bette’s exploding vagina and Tara’s flaky life skills take this. Episode seven can’t get here fast enough.

I am Bisexual features a supernatural battle that is equal parts Buffy Summers, West Side Story, and Dancing with the Stars. Isadora throws out her best pirouettes between fatal strikes, and this is all before the glowing purple sword comes out. Like vampire deaths in Marvel’s Blade films, or even my beloved Buffyverse, the end of the purple sword turns demons into sizzling mounds of dust, just on a really low-budget level.

The first six episodes of Rachel Kerry’s quirky, dialogue-friendly, supernatural mash-up, The Flowers of Fantastico, is the low-budget drug-fest horror-comedy webseries, you didn’t realize you needed. Living up to its Buffy meets Seinfeld description, this ambitious and genuine genre hopper is one of 2014’s sleeper stars. Vagina Explosions for everyone!

Water dripping on bamboo.