‘Detention’ Movie Review, Camel Toe CGI for the ADHD Crowd

I wasn’t ready for Detention. This innocuous gem sat undisturbed in my Netflix queue for a year before I finally saw the Blu- ray in my mailbox. I knew I was going to be a fan at the ten second mark. I laughed out loud at a Hoobastank joke and applauded filmmakers Joseph Khan and Mark Palermo for catering to my ridiculous cinema needs. Detention is most likely a love-it-or-hate-it kind of flick. The film opens with both barrels and doesn’t stop its machine gun-style pacing and editing. The actors talk directly to the camera, even more self-aware than the cast of the first Scream film. This is a comedy-horror labor of love from horror nerds FOR horror nerds, or film nerds in-general. Every scene, every line, is surrounding by inside jokes only obsessive movie lovers will get, and that’s okay. The public has more than enough contrived shit to sort through.

Embracing comedy as much as (if not more) horror, Detention serves up a fresh spin on high school slashers. I sat through 90 minutes of time traveling bears with Tony Stark/Iron Man navigation graphics, Freak Friday homages, a kid with a television for a hand, aggro, mugger hipsters, and last but certainly not least, the terrifying silliness we call high school.

Grizzly Lake High School is having some issues. The student body shrinks when a killer named Cinderhella decides detention is a cool place to meet chicks, er, victims, and carves a path of terror through the town and school. Shanley Caswell stars as Riley Jones, an aware student slowed down only by the boot on her broken leg. Josh Hutcherson stars along Caswell as Clapton, a guy who just can’t win, especially at high school. When not facing the vague wrath of jock/caveman, Billy (Parker Bagley), he’s diving through backwards in time with Riley. Even with such a gloriously ridiculous plot, the film only gets off track momentarily. Some might say this film is self-aware to a fault, but it serves to keep the viewer engaged, and kept me curious about the killer’s identity and motive.

Serious movie nerds will enjoy trying to pin down all the references inside Detention, and there’s a lot. If you’re going to watch the Blu-ray, you have to watch the featurette chronicling the film’s creation. If you liked the film, the behind-the-scenes footage is hilarious and informative. This movie kicks ass. It’s kind of like a mean-spirited Scott Pilgrim meets Mean Girls meets Prom Night. I’m sure I missed many points I meant to expound on…where’s my ADHD pills?