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‘Ghost Adventures’ Zak Bagans Buys Demonic Love Shack in Gary, IN

zak house1

Ghost Adventures host, Zak Bagans, the junior Hulkamaniac in waiting, finally got his manicured hands on some hot Midwestern land. When Zak heard tell of the home’s demonic history, he went to a pawn shop and sold the owner a signed photo for the home’s $35,000 asking price. Details are a little fuzzy, and a weird kid with one crazy thick eyebrow told me most of this, but I think my facts are correct. Early reports say Zak is going with an earthy Tuscan look in his new haunted home, and he is excited to complete his first walk-in hair gel and cologne closet. Zak is too modest. When he says “closet”, he means hermetically-sealed man bunker.

Zak first heard about the home with the rest of America when the Indianapolis Star conducted an investigation into the dozens of reports about exorcisms on the property. Latoya Ammons began renting the bungalow in 2011, providing a home for her three young children. Within no time, the family was suffering at the hands of phantom figures, disembodied footsteps, and even the levitation of Ammons’ young daughter. The dark activity progressed, leaving the family confused about whose help to seek. Their quest for help brought county welfare case workers, police officers, and finally, a brave Catholic Priest.

After the priest performed several exorcisms, the family reports feeling better and have since moved to Indianapolis where they report no demonic or paranormal activity. No word yet on how the bulky investigator is enjoying the diverse Gary, Indiana night life. Annoyed residents watched silently as a tractor-trailer shut down Main Street for nearly 40 minutes when Bagans’ self tanner was delivered. The small community is quiet for the time being, no real changes are noticeable except for the abundance of Fitness club fliers peppering every corner of town. More on this breaking development as the details become available.

Here’s a video of me getting on Zak’s nerves at Lexington, KY’s annual ScareFest.

About Fister Roboto (2239 Articles)
Just ring it up with the dong tea...

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