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‘Big Ass Spider’ Movie Review

Big-Ass-Spider-2013-Movie-Poster

Directed by Mike Mendez

Written by Gregory Gieras

Starring: Lin Shaye, Greg Grunberg, Ray Wise, Clare Kramer, and Lombardo Boyar

A giant alien spider escapes from a military lab and rampage the city of Los Angeles. When a massive military strike fails, it is up to a team of scientists and one clever exterminator to kill the creature before the city is destroyed.

I’m no stranger to Big Ass’d things. Those of you that know me, already realize the comparative irony of me reviewing this movie. When I first saw the synopsis and trailer, I literally rolled my eyes. Oh, the irony, considering I actually work for a company with “Big Ass” in the title. Lessen learned. Glass houses, er, something, something.

Big Ass Spider is exactly what you think it is, and a lot more. A great B movie is essentially a good horror-comedy, and this film has a great understanding of the team-up. Greg Grunberg (Heroes, Lost) plays, Alex, the likable smart cracking pest exterminator who finds himself at the wrong place at the right time. Alex fancies himself the anti-spider whisperer and has no other option but to chase down the alien arachnid. By his side is Jose (Lombardo Boyar), the hospital security guard and Alex’s new best friend. Jose adds a great buddy element to the film and delivers some of the best lines. .

Big-Ass-Spider1

Heading up the standard-issue covert military team is Ray Wise (Twin Peaks and pretty much everything else) who portrays Major Braxton Tanner. Wise is amazing at everything he does, so, next question. By his side is the sexy-but-all-business, Lt. Karly Brant, portrayed by the lovely Clare Kramer. Most of you nerds remember Kramer portrayed the insane god, Glory, on Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I’m embarrassed to say it took me thirty minutes to place her, but lets move past that.

The star of the film, the spider, is a terrifying mix of CG and skittering sound effects. The result would terrify 97% of all women, and 85% of all men. BAS has a tremendous amount of brutal kills, par for the course when dealing with a highly aggressive alien spider I assume. Car crashes, shootouts, fighter jets, friendship, capitalism, acid venom, love; Big Ass Spider proves more is more. Give this one a shot.

 

About Fister Roboto (2239 Articles)
Just ring it up with the dong tea...

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