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‘The Frozen’ (2012) Movie Review

frozen-dvd

Written & Directed by Andrew Hyatt

Starring: Seth David Mitchell, Brit Morgan, and Noah Segan

After a harrowing snowmobile accident, a young couple is stranded in the woods and must survive while waiting for help to arrive.

What could go wrong when a completely inexperienced guy takes his girlfriend out on an arctic “vacation” to an isolated rural area? This film wasted enough of my time, so I’ll try to save you the trouble by straight up telling you it sucks. The director had 90 minutes and three actors to tell a story with. Even with completely manageable cast he’s unable to spend any time developing the very one-dimensional characters. This has to what frostbite feels like.

Mike, the rigid character portrayed by Seth David Mitchell, decides to take his girlfriend, Emma (Brit Morgan) on a snowmobiling mountain adventure. His qualifications you ask? The guy at the snowmobile rental place gave him a ten-cent speech on winter fun. He already qualifies for immediate horror movie death. Mitchell delivers his lines with the vigor of someone frozen to the core, unable to articulate anything other than hopeful snowcation tips. Emma, never really on board with the snowy retreat, ventures out after learning some rather life-changing news in the film’s opening minutes.

What follows is nothing but icy atmosphere, which some people might find appealing if you’re happy with a mood versus an real story. Slow and uninspired, The Frozen is a huge waste of time. The director spends the entire length of the film making the viewer tread water only to get a unsatisfying “twist” ending. If there’s a point to this film, I’m sure I missed it.

Swing and a miss.

About Fister Roboto (2194 Articles)
Just ring it up with the dong tea...

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