‘Black Christmas’ (2006) Movie Review

Written & Directed by Glen Morgan

Starring: Michelle Trachtenberg, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Lacey Chabert, Kelli Presley, Kristen Cloke, and Andrea Martin

An escaped maniac returns to his childhood home on Christmas Eve, which is now a sorority house, and begins to murder the sorority sisters one by one.

SPOILERS

If you’re familiar with the original 1974 version, you know where this is probably headed. Devoid of charm and not good enough to be called vapid, mystery is out the window in this scorched yule log of a remake. While we never saw the crazed killer in the original, this film reveals that mystery in record time. Suspense comes from the slow burn, the escalating tension, and Morgan’s version has none. The cinematography is technically proficient and some of the actors are skilled, still, it’s not enough to add charm or depth. I doubt anyone went in expecting a four star film.

Filled with new elements like incest and cannibalism, these dark embellishments separate the remake further from the original. Black Christmas flows like a teen slasher flick, never developing characters because they most likely won’t live long enough to matter. Even more frustrating, I had a hard time following who was who since little time is spent on the characters. While the acting was above average at times, nothing gives it a sense of meaning or legitimacy. Morgan wasn’t trying to create a b movie, and that’s perhaps his biggest mistake. A little love for its over-the-top ridiculousness would have gone a long way.

You might enjoy this with friends and relatives over the holidays, but very little redeeming value is found. The cast is collectively hot if that counts for anything. I would avoid this as its got a lip infection the doctors ain’t identified yet.