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‘My Bloody Valentine’ (1981) Movie Review

mybloodyvalentinedvd

Directed by George Mihalka

Written by Stephen A. Miller

Starring: Paul Kelman, Lori Hallier, Neil Affleck

A decades old folk tale surrounding a deranged murderer killing those who celebrate Valentine’s Day, turns out to be true to legend when a group defies the killer’s order and people start turning up dead.

Meh. I wasn’t a huge fan back then and apparently not much has changed. I appreciate it as a run of the mill slasher film, possessing its own positive attributes, but as far as big boy films go; it sucks.

The poor mining town of Valentine Bluffs loved them some Valentine’s Day. They looked forward to the dance every year. On February 14th, 1961 two mine supervisors ditched their posts to attend the dance early. In doing so, the mine experienced a deadly methane explosion that collapsed the entire mine, killing every worker except one, Harry Warden. The lone miner was forced to live on the flesh of his fallen coworkers until he was eventually rescued and promptly institutionalized. No shit. Now, Henry warns the town to stay away from the Valentine’s Dance, or die. Twenty years later the dance comes back to the traumatized town. And so does Harry Warden.

Cool set up, huh? Not really. The movie is filled with silly music, bad acting, and terrible characters. The townies did nothing for me and make for a motley cast of mediocre characters. They’re portrayed by less than talented actors, so that’s not hard to believe. I didn’t particularly enjoy the kills or the orange-red blood. The atmosphere even seemed cheesy if that’s possible. You might be curious how this compares to the 2009 3D remake. I have no plans to watch it, but I have my suspicions. If you want to watch some great horror films this era, films full of life and talent, check out The Fog, The Thing or even Salem’s Lot from 1979.

My Bloody Valentine is worth an honorable mention as far as 80’s slashers go, but that’s like saying Creed is the least worst band when compared to Cinder of Puddle of Mudd. Pass on this one unless you’re obsessed with the sub-genre.

About Fister Roboto (2194 Articles)
Just ring it up with the dong tea...

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