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House (1977) Movie Review

Article by FisterRoboto of lefthandhorror.com

Written by Chiho Katsura

Starring: Kimiko Ikegami, Miki Jinbo and Kumiko Ohba

When Oshare finds out that her Father’s girlfriend is joining them on their summer trip, she and her friends decide to go to her aunt’s farmhouse instead. From the moment they arrive, strange things begin to happen and the girls slowly begin to realize Oshare’s Aunt may not have their best interest in mind.

This film generally gets remarkable ratings from fans and critics alike, so I was glad to see the familiar Netflix envelopes arrive in my mailbox today. Yeah, now a full 90 minutes later, I regret my unfounded excitement. This film expects you to roll like a drunken punch in order to take it even remotely seriously. If you took a shit ton of mescaline and spied on your kid sister’s sleepover in a haunted house, then, and only then, would you have something to connect this to. Completely off the radar for regular Joe Popcorn muncher’s palate, but too far gone for serious horror lovers – House misses the mark on just about every level. It’s full of quirky shots and ideas but as thin as a Kleenex in its story and presentation. I wasn’t able to connect with a single character either, and that kills a flick for me.

The hell?

House feels like a lost bet involving David Lynch, Pee Wee Herman, and film student. Unless you enjoy wasting 90 minutes on utter trash, leave this film alone. I was expecting so much from this film that my official review is captured in two words: fuck off. What a waste of time, celluloid, and money. Fuck you, House. I’m too pissed off to write anything else.

About Fister Roboto (2239 Articles)
Just ring it up with the dong tea...

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