One Missed Call (2007) Movie Review

Article by SisterRoboto of lefthandhorror.com

Directed By: Eric Vallette

What will it sound like when you die? In One Missed Call,  a chain of people receive terrifying cell phone messages of their own final fatal moments. Though the messages can be deleted, their number is up.  Beth Raymond is traumatized when she witnesses the gruesome deaths of two friends just days apart. Even more disturbing, she knows that both of them had received chilling cell phone messages–actual recordings of their own horrifying last moments.

As you might have guessed, ‘One Missed Call’ is another remake of a Japanese horror movie, only this time it’s about ghosts who make murder appointments using modern technology.  One thing I don’t understand, in addition to making phone calls, cell phones can do a lot these days, even in 2007 when this movie came out.  Why only call the person on the other end of the line to haunt them? They can take pictures, shoot video, send text messages, access internet… but the phones in this badly acted remake of the Takashi Miike’s 2003 ‘Chakusin Ari’ (One Missed Call) come with an extra feature not too many people would want. They leave voicemail recordings of their own violent death days before they occur, along with the exact date and time of the big event. I just think the whole idea of using cell phone technology to haunt someone is a little cheesy. I won’t worry about giving away any spoiler moments because the movie isn’t really worth seeing anyway. I will say however, I have disliked horror movies much worse than this one, but it’s just so far fetched and ridiculous. I mean, are we really supposed to believe that if you die angry while holding a cell phone, you can make the ‘can you hear me now?’ guy throw himself in front of a bus?  This movie stars Shannyn Sossamon and Ed Burns who play two people with no personality involved in some sort of curse which has nothing to do with them at all.  I will try and explain.

The odd death of a young woman and her cat in a Japanese-garden-style pool appears to trigger a series of freakish, abrupt demises among her college friends in an unspecified U.S. college town. These fatalities are linked by either social or professional ties, with each victim’s cell-phone address book providing a next-in-line supply of victims.  They all receive a cell-phone message from the previous victim – the sound of his or her own last, violent moment of death.  The two nerve-wracking days between call and curtains are filled with disturbing hallucinations of the “I see dead people” variety. Turning off phones, removing their batteries, throwing them away or even smashing them to bits doesn’t seem to reduce any threat of demise for those already given a voicemail death sentence.

Overall, the script is bad and the characters within it have about as much personality as cardboard cutouts waiting to be killed. The curse, is ridiculous and never actually makes any sense, even at the end when it’s explained to us. There’s no real reason for what’s happening, even though the movie spends most of its running time trying to find purpose. The answer it does come up with, simply doesn’t fit. As for being scary, forget it. The closest thing ‘One Missed Call‘ had to offer are cheap camera tricks.  For instance, the moment in the film that seemed to give the biggest scare, has Sossamon reacting to a noise, jumping, and turning to reveal Ed Burns calmly standing behind her depressing an inhaler… for no particular reason. If that’s your kind of horror movie, then ‘One Missed Call’ might be for you.

My personal theory here is that this is a movie primarily constructed to sell ringtones. The ghost uses a signature ring to call people, and assuming anyone liked this film, I’m sure whichever cell phone company it was that had a hand in making this thing will make a pretty penny off of selling it for suckers to put on their Nokia. I hope everyone who sees this movie runs right out and buys it, so I’ll know who to avoid engaging in conversation.  If you chose to see this movie, and then went home to download a crummy overpriced ringtone so you could remember all the fun you had seeing it.  Not only did you choose to see an obviously awful movie, you enjoyed it. Whoever you are, I will avoid you the way Fister Roboto avoids Nickelback!!