Fister News!

The Mummy Gets Rebooted! What? I Meant BFD!

Article by FisterRoboto of

Kids, we’re living in a golden age I tell you. We have such a rich tapestry of terrible, terrible contemporary horror movies to hate; and they just keep churning them out. If this wasn’t enough, we clutch our chests and gasp in piqued anticipation when we find out a reboot is on deck. What is a reboot though? Why isn’t it a remake all of a sudden? The panic sets in that the nerd-nomenclature has thrown you a curve ball. Don’t panic, here’s an official  list.

  • The original film.
  • The sequel
  • The intended/unintended trilogy
  • Something ending in the number IV or possibly “Beginnings” in the title
  • Most likely something totally unrelated
  • The one featuring a bit character from the first film as the star
  • And finally, the reboot

A reboot means there’s a “hot” new script being written by some formulaic hack or “up and comer”, who never heard of the source material. Most of the time a reboot supersucks because the movie they’re rebooting sucked to begin with. So, what did we learn from this article?

Universal is going to reboot The Mummy and now we can have THE MUMMY ULTIMATE BLU RAY SHITBOX SET. Start saving now, being a geek is expensive.

Enjoy a great mummy video on me for enduring this awful news and equally shitty article. Here Come the Mummies are an amazing live band and would suggest seeing them if you get the chance.

About Fister Roboto (2239 Articles)
Just ring it up with the dong tea...

4 Comments on The Mummy Gets Rebooted! What? I Meant BFD!

  1. The same Mummy that came out like 10 years or less ago? Isn’t that a bit soon for a movie ‘reboot’? Strange.

  2. The Mummy SUUUUUUCKS.

    I was in a meeting and came out to like 15 comments from you. Nice work!

  3. I was disappointed enough with the Late 90’s version which claimed to be a remake of the 1930’s Universal Horror movie. Instead we got an action/adventure/comedy. What the Hell? If they at least try to make this one scary I’ll be happy.

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