Fister’s Holiday Funfest: Christmas Episodes

Article by FisterRoboto of lefthandhorror.com

The holidays are a great time to sit around and do nothing but watch television. We’ve loaded up on a big mom dinner, sluggish from too much turkey and ale, there is no better time to turn the lights off, plug in the tree, and enjoy some seasonal greatness.

Snuggle up with your loved one, share your new FOREVER LAZY, and sip on some Christmas spirits while I share tales of Christmases of old.

Futurama “Xmas Story”

Fry learns how Christmas has changed and remained the same over the last 1000 years when a Robot Santa terrorizes New New York.

John Goodman stars as Santa Claus Robot, a gun-toting holiday icon convinced everyone has been naughty and deserves to be punished. The Planet Express crew risks their lives to save a very nostalgic Fry. Such a great episode. Goodman does such a great job as the Bizarro Santa Claus.

[singing]
Amy Wong: He knows when you are sleeping.
Professor Hubert Farnsworth: He knows when you’re on the can.
Leela: He’ll hunt you down and blast your ass / From here to Pakistan.
Dr. Zoidberg: Oh…
Hermes Conrad: You better not breathe / You better not move
Bender: You’re better off dead, / I’m tellin’ you, dude.
Fry: Santa Claus is gunning you down!

30 Rock “Christmas Special”

The outcast Liz Lemon dives into a Secret Santa program since her family doesn’t want her. Jack springs a last minute notice that TGS is doing a live Christmas special so he can get out of spending time with his mother, Colleen.

Liz Lemon: Hey, you don’t know the Post Master General, do you?
Jack: I do, but we had a falling out over the Jerry Garcia stamp. I mean, if I want to lick a hippie, I’ll just return Joan Baez’s phone calls.

The Simpsons “The Grift of the Magi”

A classic episode that’s enjoyed every year at Fister HQ. The kids fall prey to a marketing group at their school that using them for the ultimate in marketing research as Kids First Industries create the “perfect” Christmas toy.

Funzo is created and the Springfield mob promptly kicks in for the mad race for that years “must have” toy.

Gary Coleman is the special guest star as a security guard and made every Simpsons fan familiar with the phrase “a galaxy of prawns”.

Lisa convinces Bart and Homer to help rid Springfield of the evil Funzo and save Christmas. Grift of the Magi has some of the best quotes.

Ralph Wiggum: [playing a doctor in a play] Hello! I’m Dr. Stupid. I’m gonna take out your liver bones! Bart Simpson: It’s always a party with Funzo!
Lisa Simpson: [Lisa walks up] I admit, it’s kind of cute. But it’ll never take the place of Malibu Stacy.
[Funzo takes the Malibu Stacy doll, breaks it, and throws it in the fire]
Lisa Simpson: AWHH! Did you see that!
Bart Simpson: Yeah! Funzo makes playtime fun!
[Funzo starts choking Bart’s Krusty doll]
Bart Simpson: Hey, why is it destroying other toys?
Lisa Simpson: They must have programmed it to eliminate the competition.
Bart Simpson: You mean like Microsoft?
Lisa Simpson: Exactly! Come on Bart, we’ve gotta warn everyone.

Stay tuned for a few more random episodes over the next couple of weeks. We might get some Family Guy, The Office, and maybe even some Metalocalypse!