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The Thing That Should Not Be: “Lulu” Lou Reed/Metallica

Article by Fister Roboto of lefthandhorror.com

Imagine this…Lou Reed and Metallica decide that they want to do an art record, two records to be precise. Lulu, as it’s titled, releases on Halloween 2011. I’m sure the horror of the date isn’t lost on anyone.

I love old Metallica. I grew up with them FIRMLY claiming the crown of metal gods. There was nothing bigger or badder than Metallica for years. I really like Velvet Underground as well. This doesn’t mean it’s  going to mix well just because I like these guys. It doesn’t mean it will mix well just because Lou and Metallica like it either. News flash: this record sucks. Here is the first (and hopefully only) single called “The View”. I don’t know about you, but when I hear “The View”, my brain doesn’t instantly think anything cool or awesome. Thanks, Whoopi.

So, yeah. It’s terrible on every level. It’s atrocious. What a bunch of fucking bullshit this is. Rolling Stone loves it, which makes sense because they’ve loved every terrible album of the last 30 years.

The premise is that if you take two talented bands/singers and make a record together, it will probably be awesome. Yeah, not so much. I don’t care if Frank Zappa was talking over The Tower of Power, it would probably suck. There are some cool riffs in the background, nothing you’ll call memorable. It’s pretty much a bunch of crap Metallica didn’t put on a record. Oh, hey, they did now.

My advice is to avoid this album. Don’t listen to the single, don’t buy the record, don’t download it (even if it’s to write a hostile review) just avoid it like the plague because it pretty much is. Ow, my freakin’ ears!

If anyone needs me, I’ll be anxiously awaiting the new Dolly Parton/Cannibal Corpse spoken word album.

About Fister Roboto (2231 Articles)
Just ring it up with the dong tea...

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