Directed By: Kevin Carraway
A group of strangers find themselves stranded after a tour bus accident, and must ride out a foreboding storm in a house where brutal murders occurred 100 years earlier.
Generally, if a movie is this appalling, I don’t even bother wasting energy writing about how terrible it is. In this case, I feel it my obligation to warn you of this horrible Val Kilmer/Ving Rhames film. This truly has to be one of the worst films I’ve ever seen. Even made-for-TV movies on the Sci-Fi channel are better than this. The story makes absolutely no sense and I was completely lost by the end of it. Oh, and the ending? Don’t even get me started! If my present self could go back in time and slap my past self for even considering watching this movie… I WOULD! This isn’t worth the $1.28 that was spent to watch it. I wouldn’t spit on this movie to put it out if it was on fire. The acting is just embarrassing and the script is all over the place. The writer seemed to gather every cliche from as many tired mystery/horror flicks as possible an pack them into one movie. The dialogue was absolutely hilarious (unintentionally I imagine) and there’s a part where Rhames actually does the “ice man” snap of his teeth at Val Kilmer, I’m pretty sure that was supposed to be funny, but if you didn’t get the Top Gun reference then I think it might have just been weird.
And the title “Seven Below” has absolutely NOTHING to do with this movie. There is no 7 below temperature, nothing to do with “7″, nothing to indicate seven below anything!? Again I ask the question, why? I’m so confused and it just pisses me off! After reading this rant, if you willingly seek out this movie, you are an idiot who deserves the torture of watching it! The nicest thing I can say about this film is that the people who funded this movie must be on some high dollar crack! The evening prior I had the displeasure of watching Hostel 3 (also terrible), but Seven Below made it look like a masterpiece of cinema. In summary… for the love of all that is good and pure in this world… don’t watch this movie! You can’t say you’ve not been warned!